Look at how far you've come. Look at the nature of the detours and choices you have already made. In all cases, you chose to fight for what was right, chose to sacrifice your time, your money, your safety, and finally the status and career you worked so hard to be worthy of, for what… Continue reading Me to Myself #1: Rest Is For the Weary
I'm in a spot of trouble at the moment. You see, I am almost entirely certain that my ability to write creatively, and to write well, derives its power from the inverse of the amount of sunlight I am receiving. That is, the less summer sun and summer heat the better. Aware that I haven't… Continue reading Weathering Writer’s Block and the Weather
There once was a time where I knew where I was going in my life, of that I am sure. From those recently past days, I have notes and drawings and piles of self-wrought scripture, to follow without doubt as to the destination or the nature of the path I took. Everything was crystal clear,… Continue reading Prayer, Pathways and Second Chances (or “Whatever the Hell is In Store for Me Next”)
I am - more than a little worried, though many tell me that I needn't be. It's just something about being on one's own for the first time in one's life that breeds the kind of morbid hubris I am now struggling with. Namely, do I return to live in my mother's home, do I… Continue reading On Moving Back Home
You are probably wondering what the new website's look is all about. Most of the pages have changed, the layout and color scheme is different, and perhaps it even smells a bit fresh, like rosemary and mint on a summer's day? I have been doing some soul-searching with how I wanted to progress in this… Continue reading “A.K.A. CLouise” – A New Name
A few weeks ago I was sifting through the shelves of Santa Monica Public Library when I came across a book called "Sight and Sensibility: The Ecopsychology of Perception", and this find excited me immediately. This book, by Dr. Laura Sewall, helped put a foundation beneath my already ongoing self-experimental process with vision. I… Continue reading Liberation is… Seeing with my own Mind.
I woke up early this morning and lay awake for a while before getting up, listening to the birds and crickets chirping. I wondered - as I finally decided I would get up and "beautify" myself as a mood lifter - whether the day would stay overcast and humid, or whether the sun would come… Continue reading Epiphany! No More Pursuing What Ain’t Good for Me
I chose a panic so deep it gained its own sentience and humbled me, personally, over the pain - imagined or real - of another. I am beginning to understand something about the mind. It is like a genie trapped in a bottle, a captive audience, Narcissus locked in the echo chamber: the mind is… Continue reading Mental Illness and Insanity are not Mutually Inclusive
Today I walked around the city of Santa Monica and relished the feeling of being up and out of bed before 1 P.M. for the first time in a couple weeks. The official reason was to do that money-juggling aerobics thing that one does when there is just barely enough money to pay rent, but… Continue reading Liberation is… A Trip to the Library
"...Now daily, I wonder what it means to be made a martyr without your consent..."