I have been asking myself the same question a lot lately: What is it that I am so afraid of? I keep trying to delve into my psyche to find a way to relinquish myself from fear, I meditate so that I can find a way to transcend it, and suddenly – when I am […]Read More Wish: To Be Fearless, Strong, and Unbothered.
Here’s the third installment of my 365-Day Writing Challenge, which I started two weeks ago. Today I bring you my thoughts on friendship, my experience with it, and questions I have of it, courtesy of a free write done on the subject. Here’s the prompt: “10. Friendship: Write about being friends with someone.” Now I […]Read More Prompt #10: Friendship [Is Kinda Hard Sometimes]
There once was a time where I knew where I was going in my life, of that I am sure. From those recently past days, I have notes and drawings and piles of self-wrought scripture, to follow without doubt as to the destination or the nature of the path I took. Everything was crystal clear, […]Read More Prayer, Pathways and Second Chances (or “Whatever the Hell is In Store for Me Next”)
I am – more than a little worried, though many tell me that I needn’t be. It’s just something about being on one’s own for the first time in one’s life that breeds the kind of morbid hubris I am now struggling with. Namely, do I return to live in my mother’s home, do I […]Read More On Moving Back Home
I’ll admit it. I woke up this morning and when I sat down to write a post for AKA.CLouise, I had nothing. In fact, less than no idea on what to write, I just didn’t want to write. I felt empty somehow, like I was missing something, and like I was meant to be somewhere […]Read More Social Isolation and the Mystery of Daily Programming
In my dream, I am taken down into the cool summer blue of the underworld. Here, the water acts of its own accord, twisting up in beautiful crystalline spirals (or down, or meeting together in the center, in a balanced whorl of brilliant geometry). I have been led down here – at first against my […]Read More Dreamscapes: An Otherworldly Descent
It is often that I need to remind myself that I am worthy of happiness and that my being is not mutually exclusive from success. After pulling myself from my graduate program, I have felt an almost constant urge to do more, to push myself harder, to be better than I am. Which sounds great, […]Read More A Little Pep-Talk to the Self
A few weeks ago I was sifting through the shelves of Santa Monica Public Library when I came across a book called “Sight and Sensibility: The Ecopsychology of Perception”, and this find excited me immediately. This book, by Dr. Laura Sewall, helped put a foundation beneath my already ongoing self-experimental process with vision. I […]Read More Liberation is… Seeing with my own Mind.
I woke up early this morning and lay awake for a while before getting up, listening to the birds and crickets chirping. I wondered – as I finally decided I would get up and “beautify” myself as a mood lifter – whether the day would stay overcast and humid, or whether the sun would come […]Read More Epiphany! No More Pursuing What Ain’t Good for Me
I chose a panic so deep it gained its own sentience and humbled me, personally, over the pain – imagined or real – of another. I am beginning to understand something about the mind. It is like a genie trapped in a bottle, a captive audience, Narcissus locked in the echo chamber: the mind is […]Read More Mental Illness and Insanity are not Mutually Inclusive